Answer: You said the magic word...it's LEARN. We all learn to be orgasmic in different ways. There are some women who are only orgasmic when they rub against a pillow between their legs. Some women are only orgasmic when they're in the shower by directing water flow against their clitoris. Much of our orgasmic preference (men AND women) originates from the ways we first learned to be orgasmic. It's very normal to have preferences in all aspects of our life. Since you learned to be orgasmic one way, of course you can learn to have orgasms in a variety of ways that increase your pleasure options. One way is to touch yourself while looking at erotic images (videos) or stroking yourself (in non-goal oriented ways) while thinking about images that you find appealing. You might want to imagine or recall a part of your partner's body that you find especially stimulating. I call this technique "bridging." It's based on connecting one kind of excitement to another and building on what you like. Don't focus on orgasm...focus on pleasure. Approach each touching time as an opportunity to discover sensations that you like. You're educating your body to broaden its response patterns. Enjoy!

Intimacy Q & A: Orgasm Issues