Practice using "I" statements to help improve your intimacy. Complete the following sentences and share them with your lover:

• I feel happy when_____________________
  

• I feel sad when_______________________
  

• I feel safe when_______________________
  

• I am afraid that________________________
  

• I look forward to________________________
  

• When I'm hurt, I react by _________________
  

• What I'd like to change about myself is______
  

• What I need most from you is______________
  

• What I like best about you is ______________
  

Take turns sharing and listening. These sentences are only meant as conversation starters. Feel free to let the conversations unfold. Make sure to listen attentively and respectfully when your partner is sharing and thank one another for their gift to you.

(Excerpted from Dr. Scantling's Extraordinary Sex Now: A Couple's Guide to Intimacy, Doubleday, 1998)

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