- Look at your Lion lover. (Learn to use your eyes to
"touch"). Anything that attends to them physically, emotionally,
or sensually will be welcomed. Massage their feet with
peppermint oil, brush their hair, rub their shoulders.
- Play Secret Confessions: Ask questions about their
hopes, fears, dreams. Surprise your Lion with a love note
in his or her briefcase saying you can't wait to devour
- Remember, ask them anything about themselves? Listen
with rapt attention as your Lion reveals the most meaningful,
exhilarating, annoying, sexy, etc. moments in their lives
to you. Don't forget to look into their eyes when they
talk to you.
- Send fun or flirtatious emails. Shower them with spontaneous
- Telephone Titillation. Talk Sexy to them. Get ideas
by reading an erotic poem or sexy sonnet. Lions are in
love with their telephones so leave a special message
and be assured that all of this focus on your Lion will
have them purring like a kitten.
- Watch a hot movie. There's a wide range of explicit
and less explicit videos available that teach and turn-on.
- Be classically romantic--flowers, wine, and poetry
are sure things.
- Plan a flirtatious feast: feed grapes dipped in honey,
strawberries, or serve cold chicken and champagne. Beginning
with a meal is a great starter for a romantic evening.
- Make time for some non-demand cuddling. Touch just
because it feels good, and forget the push for erections
and orgasms for a while. Make it fun and sexy. Find some
special spots that you love to explore and take your time.
- Spice up a good routine. Bears love their old routine
(and their favorite pajamas), but familiar doesn't have
to be boring. While making love in the old way, add a
new twist to the ending. Instead of finishing in your
usual way, take the initiative and vary the routine (just
a smidgen). Bears will respond positively to change as
long as its done in a way that won't challenge their adequacy
- Tender talk--and only the positives, please, especially
in the bedroom! Compliment your lover's pluses. This is
not the time to talk about the 10 pounds he needs to lose
or that you should both start exercising! The sex response
is fragile and it doesn't take much to turn it off. Try
starting a few sentences with... Do you know what I find
sexy about you...? And then tell him.
- Practice sexy communication. Start your sentences with
"I want." Bears love to be wanted. Say, "I want to kiss
you like its our last kiss--and do it."
- Play post office, Send a simple (or more involved)
love letter. Remember how much fun it was to pass notes
- Remember, Bears need to be nurtured. Feed them and
cuddle them tenderly. Prepare a romantic picnic or a candlelight
dinner in front of the fireplace. Cuddle them and stroke
them without expecting anything in return. Discuss some
topic--Bears can be very thoughtful and contemplative
and are wonderful listeners. Don't forget that if your
bear says they're angry, they may only be feeling threatened,
insecure, criticized, fearful, or ashamed. If they're
comfortable your teddy bear will soon be growling in ecstasy.
Ideas for fun...
- Learning is sexy for Bees. They like structure, scheduling,
and cleanliness! They also value privacy, public displays
of affection don't turn them on.
- Bees are technically wonderful lovers, but they get
nervous when things are unclear or spontaneous. They're
most comfortable when they know the rules ahead of time.
Whether its oral sex or intercourse, as long as your Bee
lover knows how to go from A to Z, they'll have a great
time getting there.
- Water sports - play in the shower, tub, hot tub or
anywhere you can splash (use flavored soaps).
- Shave each other
- Make a specific wish list with specific guidelines
for achieving it.
- Use coloring book with parts of the anatomy - show
- Play follow the leader - show how you like to be stroked.
Demonstrate how you like to be touched and play mime (have
him or her follow your lead) without using any words!
- Go on a pleasure hunt - Draw a treasure map with directions
or design a scavenger hunt with special prizes at each
- Read erotica together - take turns (structured ecstasy).
- Watch an instructional sex video - impress them with
- Decorate your bedroom together - pick the colors of
scarves on light bulbs.
- Virtually all romantic suggestions from gels to edible
undies will be warmly received by your Otter.
- Surprise him with something--anything. Be here now--spontaneity
is essential. Don't plan a thing!
- Risky business is sexy for Otters. Create a moment
of madness: oral sex in your driveway (aren't your windows
tinted?) or join the mile high club - (hint) try during
the mid-flight movie when the bathrooms aren't busy.
- Share a sexual fantasy
- Laughter, play, and passion (Hide and seek, mud wrestling--you
name it, they're game).
- Give a personal gift, but never in a Tiffany's box!
Colorful balloons, a collage made from special moments
from vacations or greeting cards you've sent one other.
It doesn't have to be expensive, in fact Otters prefer
gifts of the heart.
- Toys, toys, toys: Your Otter loves them. Don't forget
to sample the limitless assortment of massagers, vibrators,
sexy clothing (for him and her) and erotic videos available.
- Whether you're having an impromptu picnic on your family
room rug or answer the door wrapped only in cellophane
- the key to Otterly love is spontaneity.
- Surprise her or him with a 3-day cruise to nowhere
for no reason except you want to.
- Suggest experimenting with those play handcuffs or
silk scarves you've always wanted to try. Enjoy feathers,
lotions, oils, whatever--your Otter will more than likely
welcome them all. Just don't mention how late it is or
that you have a business meeting early in the morning
and loving will be Otterly delightful!
(Excerpted from Dr. Scantling's Extraordinary Sex Now:
A Couple's Guide to Intimacy, Doubleday, 1998)
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