Answer: It certainly sounds as if your financial worries might be affecting your desire. I'd also wonder if there have been any recent changes in your lover's desire, arousal, or response. How has she responded to your "sexual numbness?"

Desire can be effected by a number of factors: Depression, alcohol/drug usage, general health, fatigue, anxiety, external pressures or concerns, among others. Take an individual inventory, and make some time to correct the problem. Perhaps you and your lover just need to take a mental holiday together. Find some relaxing time to reconnect without having "sex" per se. And don't forget to make some time for your own relaxation. Sounds like you're feeling overburdened. Guided imagery, yoga, relaxation-response approaches developed by Herbert Benson or progressive muscle relaxation may do the trick. A little imaginary "vacation" from your stress may be all that's needed to get you both out of your negative spirals.

Intimacy Q & A: General