Answer: It certainly
sounds as if your financial worries might be affecting your
desire. I'd also wonder if there have been any recent changes
in your lover's desire, arousal, or response. How has she
responded to your "sexual numbness?"
Desire can be effected by a number of factors: Depression,
alcohol/drug usage, general health, fatigue, anxiety, external
pressures or concerns, among others. Take an individual
inventory, and make some time to correct the problem. Perhaps
you and your lover just need to take a mental holiday together.
Find some relaxing time to reconnect without having "sex"
per se. And don't forget to make some time for your own
relaxation. Sounds like you're feeling overburdened. Guided
imagery, yoga, relaxation-response approaches developed
by Herbert Benson or progressive muscle relaxation may do
the trick. A little imaginary "vacation" from your stress
may be all that's needed to get you both out of your negative
Intimacy Q & A: General