This LoveTool helps you recall a loving moment from your past and bring it into the present.

Take turns being the one who recalls and the one who listens. During a relaxing moment (and don't say you can't find one) ... after the kids are asleep or when you can find an hour for your selves, ask your partner to think back to a time in their life when they felt safe, secure, and loved by YOU. Ask them to think about that time and describe it to you with as much detail as they possibly can. Listen carefully to what he or she says. Ask him/her to recall where you both were, what you were doing, what you did or said that made him/her feel so loved by you. Was it the way you dressed or the way you smiled? Maybe it was the way you laughed at his/her jokes that weren't really that funny. Was it the way you touched him or smelled the cologne on his/her neck. Maybe it was the special way you kissed him/her? Or the way you made him/her feel that they really mattered to you.

As you think about this, you'll discover things so subtle that you may have forgotten how much they really mean to you. Its the little things that really make intimacy so special. Take time to linger on that loving moment and see if you can extract the essence of what makes you feel loved.

Communicate this understanding to your lover and then reverse roles. When you're done, add whatever you've discovered to the Loving Actions LoveTool list. You now have a ready-made road map to making your partner feel loved.

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