This LoveTool helps you recall a loving moment from your
past and bring it into the present.
Take turns being the one who recalls and the one who listens.
During a relaxing moment (and don't say you can't find one)
... after the kids are asleep or when you can find an hour
for your selves, ask your partner to think back to a time
in their life when they felt safe, secure, and loved by
YOU. Ask them to think about that time and describe it to
you with as much detail as they possibly can. Listen carefully
to what he or she says. Ask him/her to recall where you
both were, what you were doing, what you did or said that
made him/her feel so loved by you. Was it the way you dressed
or the way you smiled? Maybe it was the way you laughed
at his/her jokes that weren't really that funny. Was it
the way you touched him or smelled the cologne on his/her
neck. Maybe it was the special way you kissed him/her? Or
the way you made him/her feel that they really mattered
As you think about this, you'll discover things so subtle
that you may have forgotten how much they really mean to
you. Its the little things that really make intimacy so
special. Take time to linger on that loving moment and see
if you can extract the essence of what makes you feel loved.
Communicate this understanding to your lover and then
reverse roles. When you're done, add whatever you've discovered
to the Loving Actions LoveTool
list. You now have a ready-made road map to making your
partner feel loved.
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