Maybe it’s just me, but there’s hardly a newscast (or any other show) without some mention of sexual predators or sexual misconduct. Whenever I hear these stories, I imagine what it would be like to be a child — innocently playing in the corner, but listening, nonetheless…
We know that children are naturally inquisitive. They take delight in all pleasurable sensations. Words for sex organs or elimination are often among the first acquired (wee-wee or pee-pee).
It’s natural to want to protect all of our children from harm — but how? Placing them in a cocoon by restricting all sexual information only increases their isolation and misinformation.
I’m sadly reminded of my dear high school friend, Brenda. She was a shy girl with long curly chestnut brown hair who came from a strict but loving family. Brenda was an only child and the apple of her father’s eye. She was forbidden to date until she was 16. Even in her teen years, her mom had to approve of her clothing. She never quite fit in with the “cool” kids and was the brunt of their jokes. Tragically, Brenda became pregnant with the first boy who showed an interest in her. She knew nothing about contraception. What is most tragic is that she committed suicide a few months later. She left a letter apologizing for the shame she brought to her family. I have no doubt Brenda’s passing contributed to my decision to become a clinical psychologist.
Whether you support “abstinence only” or “comprehensive sex education programs,” I can tell you this — the lack of accurate age-appropriate information in this highly sexualized society leaves kids over-stimulated and confused. How will they satisfy their hunger for clarity if not through their families?
How did you learn the facts of life? Without good information in a safe nurturing context, our kids are left to fill in the blanks with their own active imaginations. Sex, the good, the bad, and the ugly, is here to stay. As parents, we need to put this important issue on the agenda.