The commercial for the newest erectile-dysfunction drug promises “You can be ready when the moment is right.” But what is the meaning of “ready?” And what about the readiness of your partner?
The message that we can be “ready” at any time may be an exciting and welcome alternative for some couples. My concern is that it may inadvertently push couples who prefer less frequent penile penetration into thinking they’re dysfunctional.
Lovemaking is an exciting experience when couples are relaxed, spontaneous, and open to whatever happens without judgement. Making pleasurable love, like watching an exciting movie or reading a piece of captivating fiction, involves a suspension of certainty and an openness to possibility — a willingness to let go of expectations and go with the flow.
Some of you may be saying, “Listen, I don’t want an epiphany; I just want to have sex!” And to you I say, “Go for it.” Millions of couples are thankfully able to share satisfying intercourse because of the miracles of modern medicine. Just be careful that your expectations for daily erectile excellence don’t set you up for more disappointment.
But whether or not you decide to take drugs for sexual enhancement or prefer non-penetrative sexual variation, talk about your decision together. If the idea of “daily” sexual opportunities is a turn-on — for both of you — then enjoy. Just make sure that your partner is on board before you prepare one of you runs to the medicine cabinet.